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Friday, July 31, 2009

Frustration

No matter how frustrating waiting to get to the end of a book and learning what happens is, such as what I felt when I checked my mailbox at 6AM on July 27, 2007 and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was there and I ran home and cloistered myself in my room all day, but I digress and don't choose to make that a complete sentence. No matter how frustrating having to read to the end is, it in no way amounts to the frustration of having to write it. In some ways I think that not knowing where your story winds up is a blessing, it means you can concentrate on what you know and just go from there. My problem is I'm so enraptured by the end that concentrating on the beginning is torturous. Unfortunately, I can't write anything about the end well without having a beginning. Sure, I have lots of words, but they're all pretty meaningless without, well, a plot to go on. And since it's not one book, I've decided, for the moment, that it's a series of six, they have to be written in order, for the most part. But I know! I know what happens and it's so exciting! I want to get there. The entire project is like Chelsey's Adventures in Wonderland. I live and breathe in another world entirely at least half the time, every day. Putting that world into words is one of the hardest things I've ever attempted. Whether it ever sees the light of day is an entirely different issue, I just have to get this story out of my soul. It's been burning there for a long time, and it took me a long time sitting around imagining to feel it was complete enough to start writing at all, but all of a sudden it was there, a complete story. Now I just have to fill in the details, which should be fun, I enjoy it, but it's HARD. I see the story like a movie, but none of the scenes come in order. And details can be elusive. Making them rich and vibrant without blundering around for descriptive words isn't given enough credit as a skill. Thesaurus.com will be my best friend in the editing phase, whenever it comes, because I try not to worry about anything but the story at this point. Anyway, now I'm done writing about writing and will get on to the real thing, hopefully. These people need to stop living in my head when I'm offering an unlimited number of blank pages.

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