Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Letter to small car owners:

Dear small car owners,

I realize that my Jeep stands a couple of feet higher off the ground than your car does. This, by default, also means that my headlights are a couple of feet higher up than yours are. Unfortunately, this means that the majority of the time, when it's dark, my lights are going to hit you in the eyes. I'm extremely sorry about that. However, there's nothing I can do about it. As irritating as it is for you, my brights do not have to be on for my regular lights to make it difficult for you to see. I would greatly appreciate it, however, if you would cease leaving your brights on out of spite, or the alternative, flashing your brights at me to tell me that I left my brights on. Unless I turn my headlights off, which would probably be disconcerting and hazardous, they don't go any lower. I am a courteous driver, and I turn my brights off as soon as you're close enough that I can discern two headlights on the front of your car. I've taken to leaving it until closer so that you will realize that I did, in fact, already turn my brights off. Please return the favor, and turn your brights off as well. And if you flash me, well...I'll have to flash you back to show you that no, I'm not being a jerk and I didn't forget. Your head just happens to be on the same level as my headlights. Buy a taller car or grow a couple inches.

Thank you, that will be all.