Monday, November 2, 2009


Today was a do-nothing day. I hurt all over, my joints and muscle pretty equally torturing me. I think it's this air mattress, as nothing else explains why my hands hurt. Yes, my hands. I don't get it either.

However, as far as things go, I have it pretty great. Whenever I think of Anika my heart breaks a little more. I have a husband who loves me, and a family who loves me. I have my life. Sometimes I don't know how much it's really worth, but it's better than nothing. Life is real. Sadness can be unfathomable.

I'm trying to find the happy medium between living the simple life and making an impact. I'm not sure how to do either of those things at the moment, but I feel like I should be doing everything I can to help other people. There are various charities I'd like to volunteer for, but until my pain is taken care of I don't feel comfortable making commitments I may not be able to keep. But hopefully that will be taken care of the not too distant future, and I'll be able to make something of myself.

I'm going to do some planning. That's what I'm good at. And rub on a bunch of Icy Hot.